A crowded compartment in a pre-war train in Poland.
A Jew takes a herring out of his bag and starts eating it.
A passenger sitting opposite asks him:" Why do you Jews always eat some kind of fish?"
"It's because fish contain a lot of phosphorus, which is good for the brain.
That's why we Jews are so smart"....
Chaim is lying in the hospital's infectious diseases department.
The patient's condition is almost hopeless.
Suddenly, the patient asks for a priest.
The request spreads like wildfire throughout the hospital. It couldn't be otherwise: a Jew facing death wants to be baptized!
A moment later, the director appears, accompanied by nurses and a priest,...
A Jewish salesman came to another town, but because he has not finished all his businesses there, he stopped for the night at an inn. Unfortunately, all the beds were taken. Fortunately, there was another Jew who was occupying one of the rooms, and, after agreeing to split the cost of the night, he agreed to share a bed with...
The excited Jews discuss a local miracle.
A lumberjack found a baby in the forest, and since he had no way to feed it, he prayed.
And all of a sudden, he grew breasts and could feed the infant!!!
A skeptical listener: And he couldn't find money and hire a wet nurse?
The Jews: Don't be ridiculous! ...
- Doctor! It seems that I urinate regularly at five in the morning and have a defecation at six in the morning. What should I do?
- You should be happy. Such regularity at your age is an unusual good thing.
- Yes, Doctor. But I don't wake up until eight in the morning!
The shtetl's rabbi was on his death bed and his followers surrounded him hoping for a last piece of wisdom they could keep.
One man asked the rabbi: "Rebe, what is the meaning of life?"
"Life", the rabbi said, "is like a fountain"
Word spread throughout the shtetl of what the rabbi said and debates on the...
Herbie was a fishing fanatic. One day he found out about a small lake in the forest where the fishes jump on the hook themselves. So, in the weekend he packed his gear in the car and went there.
He found the lake, set up the rods and waited... an hour... two... three...Finally, the float twitched,
Herbie jerked......
Three Jews are speculating what their grandchildren will say about them in 50 years.
The first one says:
- I would like my grandchildren to remember how good I was to do businesses
The second one says:
- I would like them to say how much I cared for my family
And the third one replied:...
Some concerned Jews are discussing a local miracle. One lumberjack found a baby in the forest, and since he had no way to feed it, he prayed. And all of a sudden, he grew breasts and fed a baby!
A skeptical listener asked: "Couldn't he find money or hire a wet nurse?"
One of the discussing Jews yelled:...
Two old Jews are talking:
- How is your relationship with your children?
- They treat me almost like God.
- How so?
- They rarely listen to me, almost never follow my orders, and sometimes pretend as if I do not exist, but when they need something, they call me!